To Be Vulnerable

I'm an optimist. At least, I try to be. Don't get me wrong, I love to laugh and I am genuinely happy most of the time; but there is a lot of my smiling that I make up. I don't want to have to explain a complicated situation to someone who I'm not sure is going to care anyway. I'm always "Good." or "Peachy.", but a lot of the time I'm really struggling inside.

 

I think it's unnatural for humans to share everything they are feeling. To dig deep down and reveal their innermost thoughts and motives. It's uncomfortable. No one wants their faults explored. When you open yourself up you become vulnerable and easy to hurt. And no one wants to get hurt.

But there's also an overwhelming need to relate to those around you. To have someone truly know you, the REAL you. We want others to know what we're feeling, but most of the time we're afraid of the reaction, the result of pouring our heart out to someone else.

But without this honesty and openness, one cannot love. Who can love a friend that they know nothing about? And if we are blocked off from our parents, how do we love them?

"To love at all is to vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable." - C.S.Lewis

As much as I would love to, I can't just close off my heart to everyone and be untouched. Change comes no matter what I do. The only way to be have compassion towards others, to love in all I do, and to reach out to those around me, is to be vulnerable.